[But even after Dean leaves and the books are stacked beside him, Sam can't bring himself to go out there. Not yet. Too busy feeling his heart crack a little bit for the day; well, Sarah, you were right. You could die any day, that's what life was — didn't get hit by a car, though. Just had the worst luck ever, getting something supernatural stuck around you, getting Sam to investigate it. Making him think maybe you had a point. Jesus. He wonders how old the kid was. What husband out there is going to lose their wife, in the future? They see death so often, Sam could easily push it to the back of his mind.
But there are some deaths that are hard to shake. There's all their friends, yeah, but there are others. Sam still thinks of Dean's brush with death, how Sam caused an innocent man to die in his place. Sometimes he thinks about the nurse in the trunk, how he killed her for her blood, and all for what?
Sam's let a lot of things go. Had, anyway.
But not everything. Not everyone. He could add Sarah Blake to the list, too.
He breathes, leans against the wall, closes his eyes.
Too many thoughts, again, Sam. You think too much. It'll get overwhelming again. And when things get overwhelming for Sam Winchester, he runs or he self-destructs. At the very least almost takes on a king of hell. And we don't like those options right now.
Action
[But even after Dean leaves and the books are stacked beside him, Sam can't bring himself to go out there. Not yet. Too busy feeling his heart crack a little bit for the day; well, Sarah, you were right. You could die any day, that's what life was — didn't get hit by a car, though. Just had the worst luck ever, getting something supernatural stuck around you, getting Sam to investigate it. Making him think maybe you had a point. Jesus. He wonders how old the kid was. What husband out there is going to lose their wife, in the future? They see death so often, Sam could easily push it to the back of his mind.
But there are some deaths that are hard to shake. There's all their friends, yeah, but there are others. Sam still thinks of Dean's brush with death, how Sam caused an innocent man to die in his place. Sometimes he thinks about the nurse in the trunk, how he killed her for her blood, and all for what?
Sam's let a lot of things go. Had, anyway.
But not everything. Not everyone. He could add Sarah Blake to the list, too.
He breathes, leans against the wall, closes his eyes.
Too many thoughts, again, Sam. You think too much. It'll get overwhelming again. And when things get overwhelming for Sam Winchester, he runs or he self-destructs. At the very least almost takes on a king of hell. And we don't like those options right now.
Yeah... a walk. Maybe later.]