[He hesitates for a moment, both out of trying to find the right words and being guilty himself, of his mindset then. He had never set out for bad intentions. The truth was, he wanted to help people, stop the end of the world, and maybe die in the process. It seemed like... like the only way — the right way — to go. Especially because in the end, he couldn't simply kill himself out of anger and grief and loneliness. He couldn't, because it would have been a disgrace, after what his brother gave up to let him live.

He was forced to live. That's horrible to put it that way, but... it was true.

And then... everything else — ]

Yeah. Was kind of more driven by grief and anger and all kinds of weird things, but — yeah. I helped a lot of people with my powers. Seemed reasonable at the time, y'know? Save people from possessions, kill demons. And I was good at it.

I just sort of veered off course. If there was ever a course to doing something as stupid as ingesting a demon's blood.

At the time, I thought I could use something bad and turn it good. Fix things. But of course, you know the rest; I just ended up making things a thousand times more worse.

[Talking about this is kind of weird, but at the same time... it's pretty easy. He's long-since found it within himself to forgive a little, because... hell, he was trapped with satan for a while. Busting out of Hell gave him time to shake off Lucifer's words and realize he had paid his dues.]