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[And no matter where Sam's pulled from, no matter the time or place, he always takes Dean's words to heart, especially when he's desperate for that validation. He looks up meekly from under skewed bangs, inhaling deep. Honestly, he looks a little defeated for the day, like Dean stopping him had just punched the energy out of his whole body.

But he nods, after a moment.

Just... a little more. Just a little more fight. Then they can close it all up and rest. Sam doesn't want his soul bone-tired again, like he had the year before that. He just... wants to feel good again. He had that. For a moment, he had that. He just -- needs to do this one thing; his responsibility. His penance for Dean and for letting down so many others when those gates snapped open under his watch.

They'll finish the trials. Sam'll do whatever he has to.

He won't let you down, Dean. ]

Finally put him out of business.

[And it's as simple as that. A little further, just a little bit more, and then Sam can get out just like he wants, have his happy ending and a girl and whatever else he tried to have going for him during Dean's time in Purgatory. Dean'll keep hunting, because that's what he does, and there will still be vengeful spirits to be put to rest and monsters to put down.

But there will be no more deals and no more Crowley and no more demons they need to hunt down in revenge.]

Him and the rest of Hell.

[Dean stands back up and nods toward the books Sam knocked over.]

Come on. Better get those cleaned up before Cas sees.

Yeah.

[He starts collecting the fallen books, frowning. Pauses for a moment with one hanging limply in his hand, on his thigh, as though he's considering something and if he should or shouldn't say it.]

I'm sorry.

[About... freaking out. Losing his cool. That never ends well.

He probably would have done something stupid. Again.]

[Dean stands quietly, watching Sam pick up the books. When he pauses and apologizes, Dean doesn't respond for a moment. He thinks about the state that Sam was just in, and the trials that are still looming before him. It's not the first time that he thinks that he should probably take over, somehow. Find another hellhound and take on the burden of the trials.

He doesn't say that, though, because the trials are on the back burner until they get back. Their focus can't be on that, and he doesn't want to prompt yet another argument between himself and Sam.

Instead, he nods once in acknowledgement.]

You should go for one of your walks when you're done with that. Clear your head.

[And with that, he moves to leave the room.]

... Sounds like a plan.

[But even after Dean leaves and the books are stacked beside him, Sam can't bring himself to go out there. Not yet. Too busy feeling his heart crack a little bit for the day; well, Sarah, you were right. You could die any day, that's what life was — didn't get hit by a car, though. Just had the worst luck ever, getting something supernatural stuck around you, getting Sam to investigate it. Making him think maybe you had a point. Jesus. He wonders how old the kid was. What husband out there is going to lose their wife, in the future? They see death so often, Sam could easily push it to the back of his mind.

But there are some deaths that are hard to shake. There's all their friends, yeah, but there are others. Sam still thinks of Dean's brush with death, how Sam caused an innocent man to die in his place. Sometimes he thinks about the nurse in the trunk, how he killed her for her blood, and all for what?

Sam's let a lot of things go. Had, anyway.

But not everything. Not everyone. He could add Sarah Blake to the list, too.

He breathes, leans against the wall, closes his eyes.

Too many thoughts, again, Sam. You think too much. It'll get overwhelming again. And when things get overwhelming for Sam Winchester, he runs or he self-destructs. At the very least almost takes on a king of hell. And we don't like those options right now.

Yeah... a walk. Maybe later.]

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